My Life Just Got a Little Better

So I was on my way to a play date with Jax today when I realized two things: I hadn't gotten any wine and I had told the host that I would bring a bottle (That's right, I go to the kind of play dates with alcohol. What? Got something to say? I didn't think so.) and I was hungry. But I wasn't just, "Oh, I could go for some tacos" hungry, I was "I haven't eaten in days and I'm not above ripping off your arm and tearing it apart" hungry. When I get to that level of hungry, it's not a pretty sight: shit get real. I throw fear of tickets and legal repercussions to the wind, and no obstacle will come between me and chicken tender meal.

Let me take this opportunity to mention that my baby woke up teething. The kind of teething where he won't eat, sleep, or stop whining/crying. He had taken a nap before we left and seemed to be feeling much better, so I was giving the play date the old college try. His hatred for his car seat, however, had reawakened his case of the nasties, so he was screaming during my entire chicken tender quest.

So at this point  had resigned myself to be a sub par guest and forgo the wine. As I pulled into the Burger King parking lot, however, the clouds parted and God himself shined down upon the most beautiful sight my weary eyes had seen. Behold my discovery:

That's right; your eyes do not deceive you. That is a drive through liquor store. I no longer had to a) fight with my screaming child as I took him out and put him back in his car seat to get a bottle of wine or b) face judgmental stares as I peruse the shelves with a 6 month old pulling on my face. So after I got my food and situated my passenger's seat into a smorgasbord of chicken, fries, and various condiments, I pull through the liquor store drive through, feeling a bit giddy about the novelty.

A somewhat attractive man comes to the window, and I keep it classy:

Me: Can I have a bottle of your cheapest moscato?

Him: A fifth bottle?

Me: ...

Him: Like a regular sized bottle?

Me: Oh, yeah.

Him: Sprakling?

Me: Yes, please! (Like I said, classy.)

So after he flirts with me a little bit over my screaming son, I debate the caliber of man I'm attracting that hits on me through a liquor drive through window while my son is in the backseat crying. I also wasn't wearing my wedding ring because after my pregnancy, I developed a metal allergy. So maybe he thought I was easy. Especially with some sparkling moscato in me.

So I ride off into the sun set--belly full, wine in hand like a good guest, with pissed off baby in tow.